March 2008

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What I think in the most superficial and tangential way.


POSTED March 31, 2008

SPRING BREAK

A Spring Break Shark Attack in Florida, has left a man with a severed limb...
WARNING image might be disturbing to some... Shark Attack

AMERICAN PSYCHIATRIC ASSOCIATION STUDY

Women's Ass Size Study
There is a new study just released by the American Psychiatric Association about women and how they feel about their asses. The results are pretty shocking:
1. Only 5% of women surveyed feel their ass is too big.
2. 10% of women surveyed feel their ass is too small.
3. The remaining 85% say they don't care; they love him; he's a good man and they would have married him anyway

POSTED March 27, 2008

NOT ALWAYS WHAT YOU SEE

Pictures that play with your mind.

GRILL FOR REAL MEN

There's nothing quite like a summer barbecue—or the feeling you get from impressing friends and neighbors with your grilling prowess.

POSTED March 15, 2008

RONALD REAGAN

Ronald Reagan the greatest american president in my life time, he made you proud to be an American. Didn't realize just how much he's missed, until I read and remembered some of the stuff he said... and stood for. Quotes by RONALD REAGAN.
The problem with this presidental election only one canidate can lose...

POSTED March 12, 2008

GOOGLE YOUR PHONE NUMBER

Google.com is one of the most versatile search engines on the Internet. One of the features built into Google is the ability to conveniently look up information from the White Pages of any telephone book. If you type a name, address, and city of a person with a listed phone number, you will probably get that person's White Pages listing which includes the telephone number. As an added feature, Google includes a couple of mapping services in case you want to look up the location.
Remove your number GOOGLE has made available an option that will allow anyone to remove their telephone number from the database that is linked to the mapping feature. You will first need to check if your number is listed in this manner by attempting a search - entering your full telephone number separated by dashes (e.g., 404-524-5811). If the number appears in the mapping database, an icon resembling a telephone will appear next to the first or second entry on the results page. Clicking on this icon will take you to a page containing a description of the service, and a link to request your number be removed from the database."

POSTED March 11, 2008

WHAT'S ON GUYS MINDS

Really; do you know men, and what is on our minds.

SEE THE BEAR UNDER THE BRIDGE

A bear was walking across Rainbow Bridge (Old Hwy 40 at Donner Summit,Truckee) on Saturday when two cars also crossing the bridge scared the bear into jumping over the edge of the bridge.

POSTED March 10, 2008

SEE THROUGH TIRE

Radical new tire design by Michelin. The next generation of tires.

POSTED March 09, 2008

TEST FOR DEMENTIA

Anwser the questions quickly, enjoy. Start

POSTED March 08, 2008

DO YOU REALLY THINK

You can fool a kid!

HOW MANY DO YOU KNOW?

Who are they?

ULTIMATE IN YOUR DINING PLEASURE…

Dinner in the Sky: A chef prepares meals while diners enjoy panoramic views harnessed in seats that swivel 180 degrees, suspended via a crane.

POSTED March 07, 2008

NEW PRODUCT

New from I-Tunes for woman only, design for men.

DAYLIGHT SAVING TIMES

Daylight Saving Time (known as Summer Time in British English) occurs on Sunday, March 9, in the U.S. and on Sunday, March 30, in the European Union and other international sites. Before you go to bed, remember to set your clock ahead one hour if it does not adjust automatically. Daylight Saving Time is not observed in several U.S. territories, including Puerto Rico and the state of Arizona. When you set your clocks ahead, remember to change the batteries in your smoke and/or carbon monoxide detectors

HAZARDS OF GOLF

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony.
The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me, she told him."
"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.
She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments an! d asked , "How does that feel?" He replied, "It feels great, but I still think my thumb's broken!"

VOTED BEST JOKE IN IRELAND

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, 'Here's to spendin' the rest of me life, between the legs of me darlin' wife!'
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, 'I won the prize for the Best toast of the night'
She said, 'Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?' John said, 'Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.'
'Oh, tha' tis very nice indeed, John!' Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said, 'John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.'
She said, 'Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.'

POSTED March 06, 2008

GOOD MILEAGE

Did you know that in a recent study, it was found that the average American golfer walks about 900 miles a year?
Another study found American golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means, on average, American golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon. Kind of makes you proud...

CRUELEST EYE CHART

The Cruelest Form of Eye Test for Old Guys:

AGING

What age can do or the good, the bad, and the ugly! See how they changed...

WORLD CLOCK

Note the numbers of oil pumped. It goes faster than any of the others. Check out the world clock----Never seen anything like it. It is amazing. Note that you can play with the tabs to see daily, yearly, monthly, and even updates for hourly, minutes and seconds. World Clock

POSTED March 05, 2008

CONFIDENTIAL: SECURITY CAM PHOTO

Taken off the North Corridor that leads to the Senate floor in the US Capitol Building .
This is classified material, so do not ask how or where I got it.
Please DO NOT FORWARD this. The repercussions could shake things up more than you can imagine.
A highly respected politician's head is on the line here, but I feel everyone should know the truth.
Please keep this secret!

EARLY SIGNS

Early sign your son has a drinking problem.

BUGATTI VEYRON AND A JET FIGHTER

The two will start side by side from a standstill, The car will go 1 mile, slow down enough to turn around on a full width runway, then come back the 1 mile. The fighter will take off as quickly as possible, go straight up 1 mile, turn around and come back down to about 100' off the deck to fly parallel to the car to attempt to cross the Finish Line first.
Submitted: By Rich

VERY STRANGE...

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. Read the rest of the story

DO NOT SWALLOW GUM

Don't swallow chewing gum, Jeez that chewing gum will play havoc with your insides.

POSTED March 04, 2008

TELEPHONE POLL

The latest telephone poll taken by the Florida Governor’s office, asked whether people who live in Florida think illegal immigration is a serious problem:
  • 29% of respondents answered: “Yes, it is a serious problem.”
  • 71% of respondents answered: “No es una problema seriosa.”

  • BRINGING THE FEDERAL BUDGET HOME

    National Priorities Project (NPP) is a 501(c)(3) research organization that analyzes and clarifies federal data so that people can understand and influence how their tax dollars are spent. Located in Northampton, MA, since 1983, NPP focuses on the impact of federal spending and other policies at the national, state, congressional district and local levels. See the cost of Iraq war
    Submitted: By George

    FROZEN SOLID

    The water froze the instant the wave broke through the ice. That's what it is like in Antarctica where it is the coldest weather in decades. Water freezes the instant it comes in contact with the air. The temperature of the water is already some degrees below freezing. Just look at how the wave froze in midair.

    WASHINGTON DC AFTER CLINTON

    Eight years after President William Jefferson Clinton left the Washington area, see the lasting effects on DC school children

    LOOKING PRESIDENTIAL

    Today looking the most presidential is important, I am in complete agreement that someone; anyone can excite and energize our nation with good looks. Yes that is vanity; yet sometimes maybe a first step in the race to the White House. This one of the biggest problems with our country right now, we aren't excited enough, interested enough in the politics and leadership of our nation. This is an example of what I mean.

    POSTED March 03, 2008

    MASSACHUSETT STATE DRIVING THEORY TEST

    This question has just been added to the MA 2008 Driving Theory Test.
    There is only one answer, but be careful now!
    Driving Test Question
    You are driving along a two lane road with a NO PASSING sign, and come upon a bicycle rider. Do you follow this slow-moving bicycle rider for the next 2 miles, or do you break the law and pass? Here is the correct choice

    $3.00 A GALLON

    "HERE IS WHERE ALL THE PROFITS ARE GOING" This is really amazing Dubai
  • There are more construction workers in Dubai than there are actual citizens.
  • you can view here think I am kidding just "Google" Dudai...

    WHAT YOU SEE IS NOT WHAT YOU SEE

    Okay you smart people out there, figure this one out...
    Albert Einstein said "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift."
    This has to be the best illusion ever created. If you look at the images from your seat in front of the computer, Mr. Angry is on the left, and Ms. Calm is on the right. Get up from your seat, and move back 12 feet, and PRESTO!! they switch places!! It is said this illusion was created by Phillippe G.Schyns and Aude Oliva of the Universityof Glasgow. Does this prove that we sometimes may not be seeing what's actually there? You make your mind up.

    WOMAN IN A HOT AIR BALLOON

    A woman in a hot air balloon realizes she is lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man fishing from a boat below. She shouts to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
    The man consults his portable GPS and replies, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
    She rolls her eyes and says, "You must be a Republican!"
    "I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
    "Well," answers the balloonist, "everything you tell me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you're not much help to me."
    The man smiles and responds, "You must be a Democrat."
    "I am," replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"
    "Well," says the man, "You don't know where you are or where you're going. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and now you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met , but, somehow, now it's my fault."

    CLEM

    While Clem was doing some home repairs in the bathroom, see why he never knew what hit him

    POSTED March 01, 2008

    WEDDING PHOTOS

    These are the wedding photos that never made the album you can view them here

    BEER

    Really how bad do you want a beer?

    TYPEWRITER ART

    Paul Smith passed away on June 25, 2007. Paul was born in Philadelphia on September 21, 1921. Although severe cerebral palsy kept him out of school, it didn't prevent him from having a remarkable life.

    Never having a chance as a child to receive a formal education, Paul taught himself to become a master artist as well as a terrific chess player. With much humility and a charming, self-depreciating sense of humor, he became a man who excelled at making the lives of those around him much richer.

    His incredible visualization and calculation skills helped to make him a formidable chess player. Paul would stop doing just about anything else when he had a chance to play a game! When typing, Paul used his left hand to steady his right one.

    Since he couldn't press two keys at the same time, he almost always locked the shift key down and made his pictures using the symbols at the top of the number keys. In other words, his pictures were based on these characters ... @ # $ % ^ & * ( ) _

    Across seven decades, Paul created hundreds of pictures. He often gave the originals away. Sometimes, but not always, he kept or received a copy for his own records. Be sure to visit the gallery at this site to see images of his pictures in detail.

    DRIVE CAREFUL, ROAD KILL

    I wonder who walked up to verify it was dead? His mitts are bigger than a person's head! This is the 830-pound grizzly bear hit by a truck near Lincoln, Mt. in October 2007. One big Griz. Read the whole story with pictures of the 830-pound grizzly bear

    I HATE CATS

    "Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." This was written by someone called - Anonymous. Did you ever see a Real Persian Cat, they are easy to tell from American Cats.

    I HATE WALMART: Consumer Alert!!

    Everything seems to made in China and it's really cheap, cheap not only in price but quailty. With summer around the corner I took my nephews advice "Shop at Wal-Mart" Can you imagine My nephew will have us over for dinner spend a lot money on the meal then offer us cheap imitation Wal-mart soda. Anyways I am looking in the garden shop and saw some nice beach chairs, keeping them in mind for summer. Later that night the news stated they are being recalled by China, I'm concerned that you could buy defective lounge chairs; so I just wanted to warn you before you make a mistake I almost did. You don't have to thank me; but just be careful if you purchase any of these lounge chairs, especially for the beach! This could be dangerous!! Watch out for crabs in the sand!! Those cheap Walmart chairs!!

    LAWYER SHOULD NEVER ASK

    Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

    The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

    She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

    The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

    WORKING

    Everyone has to work this guy has a dream come true, the "DREAM JOB"

    THE JOB - URINE TEST

    (I sure would like to know who wrote this one! They deserve a HUGE pat on the back!)

    I HAVE TO PASS A URINE TEST FOR MY JOB... SO I AGREE 100%

    Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their behinds, doing drugs, while I work. . . . Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check ! Something has to change in this country -- and soon!

    FATHERS SHOPPING

    This is why fathers never are allowed to buy "Kids Clothes"

    WINNING THE LOTTERY

    Winning the lottery in the south would force you to move north other wise you would live in a Southern mansion

    ANSWERS

    THE 6 ANSWERS WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR:

    Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
    A: It's Braille for 'suck here'. By the way click here for early signs your son may be gay

    Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
    A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.' Good doggy

    Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
    A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

    Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
    A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go, they take your house and car with them.

    Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEYGET UP IN THE MORNING?
    A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...

    AND:

    Q: WHAT IS A MAN'S ULTIMATE EMBARASSMENT?
    A: Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.

    The irony of life is that,
    by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere!!!!

    IN THE BEGINNING THERE WERE TWO CANALS

    At the beginning there were two canals: Canal Forth and Clyde was built in 1777 between harbors Grangemouth and Falkirk connecting Glasgow with west cost of Scotland. See how they were changed

    THE BIRD GENDER

    How can you determine a bird’s sex? Until now I was never able to determine which was the male and which the female. See how you can...

    LOCAL GARAGE

    A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?' She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one..' She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?' She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.' If you're not sure what a 710 is Click Here

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