MAY 2008

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What I think in the most superficial and tangential way.

POSTED May 31, 2008

Took Me Over 40 years to Learn

“Never lick a steak knife."


Tobacco-Free Youth
WHO (World Health Organization) recognizes World No Tobacco Day (WNTD) each year on 31 May. This year, the WNTD theme is Tobacco-Free Youth. This year's theme highlights two critical messages: (1) tobacco marketing can contribute to disability and death, and (2) complete ban on advertising, sponsorship and promotion are highly effective measures for tobacco control as they reduce experimentation and initiation in tobacco use For more information on WNTD 2008, please visit the Tobacco Free Initiatve home page.


John McCain's remarks about the Pledge of Allegiance
In light of the recent appeals court ruling in California , with respect to the Pledge of Allegiance, the following recollection from Senator John McCain is very appropriate:
Read 'The Pledge of Allegiance' - by Senator John McCain


There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'
The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'
The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'
The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'
The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'
The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'


5 meters distance Optical Illusion, this is the craziest thing I've seen in a long time. Ok; click on the image link, you also have to get out of your seat and walk away from your computer. People may think you're crazy. But it's well worth it. When you look at this picture in a closer look you see its Albert Einstein . But if you stand 5 meters distance. It will become Marilyn Monroe. “GIVE IT A TRY.”


Power Point Presentation on Invitation to a VACATION

POSTED May 29, 2008

Took Me Over 40 years to Learn

“Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance."


Remember this picture on election day!
Let's all remember this on election day...
if you have family serving in the military, make sure you send it along.
I don't care for Hillary, but at least she shows respect for the country she lives in!
I had heard about this but a picture is definitely worth 1000 words! God save us!!! Senator Barack Obama, Governor Bill Richardson, Senator Hillary Clinton and Ruth Harkin stand during the national anthem.
Barack Hussein Obama's photo (that's his real name)...
the article said he REFUSED TO NOT ONLY PUT HIS HAND ON HIS HEART DURING THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE, BUT REFUSED TO SAY THE can a man like this expect to be our next Commander-in-Chief VERIFY: This is true click here:

The more I see what's happening to our great country



Political women can change the whole approarch of how men look at an election, here are women from both parties ok guys judge for yourselves “POLITICAL WOMEN”


Why the Middle East is in deep shit? Here is a detail map showing the regions of the “MIDDLE EAST”


Ever wonder who the girl on the Coppertone Ad was, remember the dog tugging on back on her bikini, “COPPERTONE GIRL”


Power Point Presentation on the COOLEST ILLUSION

POSTED May 29, 2008

Took Me Over 40 years to Learn

“You should not confuse your career with your life."


This is a screen saver you control by clicking it on; each time its different, enJOY!
Download "blobber" Right Click save Target


An elderly man named Jim had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond, fixed up really nice, along with some picnic tables and some apple and peach trees. The pond was shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built..
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end to shield themselves.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" Then old Jim frowned and replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up Jim said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
Old men may move slow but can still think fast.....


Mature Adults only, NO membership required; "BOOBIE" web cam usually on 24/7 view at the following link “BOOBIE WEB CAM”


Someone finally said it; Am I bad American?

POSTED May 28, 2008

Took Me Over 40 years to Learn

“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved,
and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."


Type an Address Into Google
If you were ever looking for a quick way to get a map of to a certain location this is it. Simply type an address into Google and the first display on the results will be a map of the location plus a link to the full map.
For example, you can enter your address (in the format: [street], [city], [state]) and then click search. You can also do handy quick searches such as "pizza in [city], [state]" to pull up results with both maps and phone numbers. You can read all the details about Google Maps and shortcut searches here: Give it a try, this search feature really does come in handy.


There are only nine.


A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.
Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the male therapist got up, walked around the desk, and after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze.
The therapist turned to the husband and said, 'This is what your wife at least three times a week. Can you do this?'
The husband thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I Golf'


How many are actually paying attention to this?

POSTED May 27, 2008

Took Me Over 40 years to Learn

“People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. ”


No matter what situations life throws at you.. no matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem... Remember, there is a light at the end of the "tunnel! "


For the Family that has everything ...Enjoy the NOTE: (Romantic Torches are extra) “REDNECK SWING”


(from a 6-year-old)
A veterinarian, was called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.
The veterinarian,examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. He told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, he felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. They sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, "I know why."
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned us. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.
He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life - - like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?" The Six-year-old continued, "Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long . "
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.


Icebergs in the Antarctic area sometimes have stripes, formed by layers of snow that react to different conditions. Blue stripes are often created when a crevice in the ice sheet fills up with meltwater and freezes so quickly that no bubbles form. When an iceberg falls into the sea, a layer of salty seawater can freeze to the underside. If this is rich in algae, it can form a green stripe. Brown, black and yellow lines are caused by sediment, picked up when the ice sheet grinds downhill towards the sea. AMAZING STRIPED ICEBURGS


You think the war in Iraq is costing us too much? The propaganda that it is the Iraq war and the war on terror that is bankrupting us. I find that to be RIDICULOUS. Here are 14 reasons that is not true. I have included the URL's for verification of all the following facts. IRAQ & WAR ON TERROR


Picture this being just half you, bad “DAY”

POSTED May 24, 2008


As we gather with friends and family this weekend to celebrate Memorial Day as the unofficial start of summer, please take a moment to pause and reflect on the true meaning of the holiday. Memorial Day is our chance to honor the thousands of brave men and women who unselfishly gave their lives to preserve the freedoms we cherish. We should also offer comfort to their families, friends and loved one whose lives have been so deeply touched by their loss. There are still thousands of Americans fighting for freedom and democracy in conflicts around the world. Please keep them, and their families, in your thoughts as you celebrate Memorial Day this year.
As a free American we celebrate all kinds of " holidays"

Took Me Over 40 years to Learn

“There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness.”


FROM CHINA, no wonder this country is losing our foot hold see - The Emma Maersk


Here it is! For serious collectors or someone wanting to really make a statement.
Tibaldi DA Vinci Code Fountain Pen Black With Rose Gold Trim SKU: TI-DV/FP18 PRICE: $27,000.00
What a $27000 pen looks like?

Buy now from "Arthur Brown & Bro Inc"


Customize Printed Webpage Headers & Footers
Whenever you print a webpage, you may notice the information printed in the header and footer, such as: page title, URL, page number, etc. This information can be easily customized or removed, if you like, by going to the following location:
- Firefox 2: File -- Page Setup -- Margins & Header/Footer. Select your settings from the drop downs provided.
- IE 7: Printer Icon -- Page Setup (Headers & Footers section). Note: you can see what the "key text" is for displaying certain information by looking up "Headers" in the Help Index.
Once you update this information, only the headers and footers you want to see will be printed.

Beijing fast food

PDF file on Beijing fast food "YUMMY... "

POSTED May 23, 2008

Took Me Over 40 years to Learn

“Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”


My son just spend over $420.90 on a new pair of sneakers. They are not for sports, NO... just for relaxing and the comfort of his feet and “ears” see his $420.90 "sneakers"


How to use your IRS rebate check responsibly!
As you may have heard, the Administration said each of us would get a rebate check to stimulate the economy.
  • If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
  • If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
  • If we purchase a computer it will go to India.
  • If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
  • If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan or Mexico.
  • If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan... ...and none of it will help the American economy.
    We need to keep that money here in America.
    The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it at garage sales; since those are the only businesses still in the U S.


    I keep getting this computer error, am I the only one?


    Have you ever wanted to create your own icon, either just for a program shortcut or for your website's "favicon"? Well you can do it without having to download anything by using RealWorld Graphics Online Icon Maker.
    This handy website provides basic graphic editing tools and even allows you to upload an image to use as a starting point. Once you have your icon image exactly as you want it, the Download Icon link saves it "favicon.ico". Once downloaded, you can rename it to anything you like.
    Additionally, links are made available at the bottom for downloadable icon creation tools and freely available icon libraries. "Check it out here:"


    Redneck Calamari Seafood "Dinner"


    Someone took pity on me because of my excessive muteness and mild drooling, side effects from all the Sarcasm I take on from this website. I do manage to tell them, through very rudimentary sign language, to "get a life... and while I'm at it get a clue as well! That someone took me to the Doctors who gave me a prescription for a new drug, WOW, I feel great. I did a little research on the drug I decided to share with you here’s an "AD" for those would more information on the "NEW DRUG"

    POSTED May 22, 2008

    Thought for the day!

    “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away”


    Ever had "wash me" written by someone on the back of your car?
    It's been a rough spring for your car's exterior? Have dust devils, pollen showers and bird droppings taken a toll on your once- gleaming paint job? Well then someone writes "WASH ME" Scott Wade has taken the traditional past time and created a new type of ephemeral art...

    Ok so paints with dust, my girl friend and I though we try it with mud and shower it off,
    it came out ok, but I can tell you we had a lot of fun doing it. Here is my art work "WASH ME"


    If you ever have the need to take a screen shot of an entire webpage (not just the visible portion), then the Page Saver Firefox plugin from Pearl Crescent is just what you need.
    This plugin installs a button on your toolbar which can take a screen shot of the entire webpage or just the visible portion and stores it as a single graphic.
    Download it here "IT'S FREE"
    Note: Be sure to use this responsibility.
    This is not intended to be used as a means to distribute copyrighted material.


    How to pronounce Oklahoma correctly
    I never knew this.
    I guess I had been pronouncing it correctly, but I never knew the story behind it..
    There is a right way and a wrong way to pronounce
    The proper way is:
    ' Okla . . . homa'
    (There's a pause between the 'a' and the 'h'.)
    The historical reason is listed on the website see here "OKLA _ HOMA "VS" OKLAHOMA"
    There, you learned something today! This is so very educational - you have too love it!


    The old man placed an order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.
    He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.
    He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
    He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
    Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
    As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they! were us ed to sharing everything.
    People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
    Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'
    Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'
    She answered "THE TEETH."


    I needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY", then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
    My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.
    A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb.
    He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days". I jumped down and walked out of the office.
    When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her, "And where do you think you're going?"
    She said, "I'm going home too. I can't work in the DARK!

    POSTED May 21, 2008

    Thought for the day!
    'Without question, the greatest invention in the History of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the Wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does Not go nearly as well with pizza.'

    ~ Dave Barry
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.


    Over the past few months I have posted some inappropriate pictures and jokes I thought you shared the same tastes and sense of humor.
    Unfortunately this wasn't the case and I seem to have upset quite a few people who have accused me of being sexist and shallow.
    If you were one of these people, please accept my sincerest apologies.
    From now on I will only post or send e-mail with a cultural or educational content such as old monuments, nature and other interesting structures.
    Below is a link to a picture of the Pont Neuf Bridge in Paris .
    P. S. For those of you who are interested, Pont Neuf is the oldest bridge in Paris and took 26 years to build. Construction began in 1578 and ended in 1604. 'Le Pont Neuf' is actually made of two independent bridges,one with seven arches and the other with five arches. "Pont Neuf Bridge"


    Having a cookout on the grill throw the hotdogs on and relex "New for Summer"


    Power Point Presentation for all you roller coaster lovers...this is the "place to go... "


    Whether you are reloading your machine, or someone else's, at some point you might need to recover your Windows 2000/XP or Office XP/2003, etc. serial number because you no longer have the original packaging. If this sounds familiar, then look no farther than Magical Jelly Bean.
    Magical Jelly Bean is a simple, yet useful, application which allows you to recover any of the following serial numbers from your current install:
    - Windows 95/98/ME/NT4/2000/XP/Server 2003/Windows Vista
    - Office 97/Office XP/Office 2003
    Simply run the application, copy the serial numbers you need and store them in a safe place.
    You can download Magical Jelly Bean here:

    POSTED May 20, 2008

    Thought for the day!
    'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive
    and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand, chocolate in
    the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride!'


    “Too much sex, especially ion, can make you go blind.” American Foundation for the Blind is dedicated to addressing this critical issues with an online "Sight Test"


    Clothing you love to "read!"


    Power Point Presentation on AWWW, SHUCKS. MY HUMMER'S "STUCK AGAIN "


    Yep, you have your implants but now your "Sixty"

    POSTED May 19, 2008

    Thought for the day!
    Those who danced were thought to be quite insane, by those who do not hear the music.....


    This image is design to appear as it moving but it's still "WAVE"


    Could you please help Jiggles she drop the soap in the shower "Help Jiggles"


    Power Point Presentation on Alaska "Railway Routes"

    POSTED May 18, 2008

    Thought for the day!
    Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.

    --David Moulton
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.


    A 3 YEAR OLD
    One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother who is four years older than I am. I was maybe 3 and a half years old and had just recovered from an accident in which my arm had been broken among other injuries.
    Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was playing nearby in the living room when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.
    My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then she says to him, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet??'
    ...Mothers know!!


    A very loud, unattractive, mean, walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
    The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?" The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't." "The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"
    "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am," replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice." "Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart."


    Think they will kiss and "make up??"


    POSTED May 15, 2008

    Thought for the day!
    When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

    ~ Henny Youngman
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.


    It has been determined, the most used sexual position for married couples is a doggie position.
    The man sits up and begs.
    The woman rolls over and plays dead


    Top 10 reasons a gun is favored over a woman....
    #10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.
    # 9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
    # 8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
    # 7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.
    # 6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.
    # 5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
    # 4. Guns function normally every day of the month.
    # 3. A gun doesn't ask , 'Do these new grips make me look fat?'
    # 2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
    And the # 1 reason a gun is favored over a woman ....



    A man and a woman were driving down the road, arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reached over and sliced the man's penis off. Angrily, she tossed it out the car window.
    Driving behind the couple was a man and his 6-year-old daughter. The little girl was chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the penis smacked their car windshield, stuck for a moment, then flew off.
    Surprised, the daughter asked her father, 'Daddy, what the heck was that?'
    Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual at such a young age, the father replied, ' was only a bug, Honey.'
    The daughter sat with a confused look on her face, and after a moment said..
    'Sure had a big dick, didn't it?'


    POSTED May 14, 2008

    Thought for the day!
    'I feel sorry for people who don't drink.
    When they Wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're Going to feel all day.

    ~Frank Sinatra
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.


    It’s a joy to see some of the best, most beautiful & healthy Seahorses I’ve ever seen; view "SEAHORSES"


    What is a billion ?
    The next time you hear a politician use the word 'billion' in a casual manner, think about whether you want the 'politicians' spending YOUR tax money.
    A billion is a difficult number to comprehend, but one advertising agency did a good job of putting that figure into some perspective in one of its releases.
    A billion seconds ago it was 1959
    A billion minutes ago Jesus was alive.
    A billion hours ago our ancestors were living in the Stone Age.
    A billion days ago no-one walked on the earth on two feet.
    A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it.


    Power Point Presentation on Alter Manufacturing, "Outsource"


    The Perfect Name

    A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man, standing alone. She approached him.
    'My name is Carmen,' she told him.
    'That's a beautiful name,' he replied, 'Is it a family name?'
    'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most -- cars and men.'
    'What's your name?' she asked.
    'B. J. Titsenbeer'


    Why it's called "YEARS" I do not know, thanks jim for the e-mail "YEARS"

    POSTED May 14, 2008

    Thought for the day!
    Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think About the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes And dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out Of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this wine and let their Dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.'

    ~ ~ Jack Handy'
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell Happened to your bra and panties.


    Power Point Presentation on "Safety" view and see whats worng, "it's not that simple..."


    What is the different between American and Eroupean obesity find out here "OBESITY"


    Whether Democrat or a Republican you will find these statistics enlightening and amazing view the facts at ""
    Taxes underClinton1999.................. Taxes under Bush 2008
    Single @ 30K - tax $8,400 Single @ 30K> - tax $4,500
    Single @ 50K - tax $14,000 Single @ 50K -> tax $12,500
    Single @ 75K - tax $23,250 Single @ 75K -> tax $18,750
    Married @60K - tax $16,800 Married @60K- tax> $9,000
    Married @75K - tax $21,000 Married @75K - tax> $18,750
    Married @125K - $38,750 Married @125K> - $31,250
    Both democratic candidates will return to the higher tax rates
    It is amazing how many people that fall into the categories above think Bush is screwing them and Bill Clinton was the greatest President ever. If Obama or Hillary are elected, they both say they will repeal the Bush tax cuts and a good portion of the people that fall into the categories above can't wait for it to happen. This is like the movie The Sting with Paul Newman; you scam somebody out of some money and they don't even know what happened.
    Please "VOTE for John McCain" know the facts!


    My son barrowed the car; you think he could have a least gave it a wash.
    POSTED May 13, 2008

    Thought for the day!
    'When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, We fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all Get drunk and go to heaven!

    ~ Brian O'Rourke'
    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.


    In just two years . Remember the election in 2006?
    Thought you might like to read the following:
    A little over one year ago:

    1) Consumer confidence stood at a 2 1/2 year high;
    2) Regular unleaded gasoline sold for $2.19 a gallon;
    3) The unemployment rate was 4.5%.

    Since voting in a Democratic Congress in 2006 we have seen: 1) Consumer confidence plummeted;
    2) The cost of regular gasoline soared to over $3.70 a gallon;
    3) Unemployment is up to 5% (a 10% increase);
    4) American households have seen $2.3 trillion in equity value evaporate;
    5) Americans have seen their home equity drop by $1.2 trillion dollars;
    6) 1% of American homes are in foreclosure.
    America voted for change in 2006, and we got it!
    Remember it's Congress that makes law not the President. He has to work with what's handed to him. Vote Republican this November...


    The Importance of Walking; Walking can add minutes to your "life!"


    Beautiful and creative "photography!"


    A man is in bed with his Thai girlfriend.
    After having great sex, she spends the next hour just stroking his penis, something she had lovingly done on many occasions.
    Rather enjoying it, he turns and asks her, 'Why do you love doing that?'
    She replies: 'Because I really miss mine'


    Last night my wife and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive.
    That would be no quality of life at all...
    if that ever happens, just pull the plug."
    So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.
    She's such a bitch.

    POSTED May 12, 2008

    Thought for the day!
    To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!

    ~ Dave Howell

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.


    Power Point Presentation on Some "Digital Editing"


    After 30 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the misses felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.
    It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.
    He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, ! caresse d past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf.
    Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent.
    As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "Honey, that was wonderful. Why did you stop?"

    "I found the remote," he mumbled.


    Look closely at the package. Just below the words Fresco Lavado.... Don't forget this brand of fresh lettuce, folks. What probably happened is, the water the lettuce was washed in contained polliwogs and these became fresh new frogs, right in the packages. So if you're looking for salad fixings with a little more body, then be sure and try this brand. Don't forget, it's the extra care that Mexican companies take that makes the difference.


    John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
    It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school!
    Tommy was over 2 hours late.
    "Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John.
    "Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy.
    The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
    "Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school."
    "We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy.
    "What did you watch?" asked Marsha.
    "The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.
    The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more. With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."
    "I am ashamed of you son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."
    The robot then walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
    Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"
    With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and slapped her three times.

    POSTED May 11, 2008


    AVG Free provides you with basic antivirus and antispyware protection for Windows and is available to download for free.
    Just to let you know that Grisoft, the makers of AVG, released version 8.0 today. AVG Antivirus is free for home and personal use.
    If you use AVG or are interested in a free antivirus alternative to Norton, McAfee, and other retail antivirus products, visit AVG's website by clicking on the link to AVG's website
    Although AVG Free does not include the round-the-clock email support provided by their commercial products, there is a very active user forum to solve problems and give advice. AVG Free is an excellent choice for anyone needing virus protection on their PC.


    With the nice beach weather around the corner ladies here's a tip on to spot a rich guy on the beach


    Three male Labradors, 1 chocolate, 1 yellow, and 1 black... were sitting in a waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The black Lab turned to the chocolate Lab and said, 'So why are you here?'
    The brown Lab replied, 'I'm a pisser. I piss on everything.... the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids.
    But the final straw was last night when I in the middle of my owner's' bed.' The black Lab said, 'So what is the vet going to do?'
    'Gonna cut my nuts off,' came the reply from the chocolate Lab.
    'They reckon it'll calm me down.'
    The black Lab then turned to the yellow Lab and asked, 'Why are you here?'
    The yellow Lab said, 'I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch.'
    'So what are they going to do to you?' the black Lab inquired. 'Looks like I'm losing my nuts too'. The dejected yellow Lab said.
    The yellow Lab then turned to the black Lab and asked, 'Why are you here?'
    'I'm a humper,' the black Lab said. 'I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. 'Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower, and as she was bending down to dry her toes I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started humping away'.
    The yellow and chocolate Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, 'So, nuts off for you too, huh?'
    The black Lab said.... 'No, I'm here to get my nails clipped'


    I'm not sure who this woman is, but she claims she knows you?!!


    POSTED May 10, 2008

    HEY YOU!

    Yes you; the one who sent the e-mail with "NO NAME" stating this site should not be posted/listed with my other site we did consider your suggest on a new site Please see our webmaster reply


    Now tell me; has my kid got a good memory or what....
    So you take your boy to a ball game .
    Good father and son stuff right?
    Male bonding, right?
    You buy him hot dogs.
    He sees the Home Team hit one over the wall!! .
    Will he remember the time spent with you?
    Will he remember the taste of the hot dogs?
    Will he often think of the boomer home run?
    What will he remember?


    If Gas Prices Continue To Rise!!!


    Fifty Years of Math 1957 - 2008
    Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this?

    Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:

    1. Teaching Math In 1950's A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?

    2. Teaching Math In 1960's A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

    3. Teaching Math In 1970's A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

    4. Teaching Math In 1980's A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

    5. Teaching Math In 1990's A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok.)

    6. Teaching Math In 2008 Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?



    My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.
    Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern Tennessee because of bad weather. Thank God our kids were with me at the Beach House this weekend.
    The NTSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: Judy was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating) rating.
    The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.
    A photograph was taken at the scene showing the extent of damage to her aircraft.
    She was very lucky.

    POSTED May 09, 2008


    Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.
    Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers!
    What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?
    The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see .
    Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including es and 'special services.'
    Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing . Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.
    This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.
    Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

    Bill Clinton


    Innovative things people think "of"


    Power Point Presentation on "BEST PHOTOS" 2007...


    'Well ya see, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
    In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
    Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.


    An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, 'George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?'
    George replies, 'God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, *poof*!, the light goes on. When I'm done, *poof*!, the light goes off.'
    'Wow, that's incredible,' the doctor says.
    A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife. 'Ethel,' he says, 'George is doing fine but I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof *!, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, *poof*! The light goes off?'
    'OH MY GOD!' Ethel exclaims.
    'He's pissing in the fridge again!!!

    POSTED May 08, 2008


    Download "Solitaire Bodies Card Game"

    POSTED May 07, 2008

    Thought for the day!

    "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy"
    Benjamin Franklin

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard."


    McAfee raises Trojan alert for the first time since 2005 Security
    Article By Theo Valich    Wednesday, May 07, 2008 11:30
    Santa Clara (CA) - After almost three years of most Internet dangers coming from phishing e-mails, misleading "You've won" websites and fake anti-spam/anti-spyware tools, a new trojan has appeared and has caused almost half a million infections.
    Bear in mind that 500.000 infections were stopped by McAffee tools, but this is by no means the final number of potential infections, and can give you a rough idea what happened on computers that were not protected by malware-stopping applications.
    McAfee reported that Downloader-UA.h trojan is present in hundreds of media files that were uploaded to file-swapping services during the last weekend. Limewire and eDonkey were the most affected ones, so caution is needed if you use those services. According to Avert Labs, files are named differently in multiple languages and different sizes, so they look legit. Files are all coming in MPEG or MP3 format, and McAfee Avert Labs released names of some media files:
    preview-t-3545425-changing times earth wind .mp3
    preview-t-3545425-girls aloud st trinnians.mp3
    preview-t-3545425-jij bent zo jeroen van den.mp3
    t-3545425-lion king portugues.mpg
    t-3545425-los padres de ella.mpg
    You can see more details on McAffee Alert Lab blog.(
    Trojan Downloader-UA.h received a "medium" risk, raising the global alert level to "elevated". If you use file-sharing networks, watch out for these files.


    Power Point Presentation on an


    Mike was going to be married to Karen so his father sat him down for a little chat.
    He said, "Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed them to your mother, and said, "Here try these on." She did and said, "These are too big. I can't wear them." I replied,"Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will."
    Ever since that night, we have never had any problems. "Hmmm," said Mike. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
    On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, "Here - try these on." She tried them on and said, "These are too big. They don't fit me." Mike said, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that."
    Then Karen took off her pants and handed them to Mike. She said, "Here- you try on mine."
    He did and said, "I can't get into your pants."
    Karen said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-ass attitude, you never will."
    Then and Now!!!!

    POSTED May 06, 2008

    Thought for the day!

    "Strong and bitter words indicate a weak cause."
    - Victor Hugo -



    Cool Animation by DUSTBALL


    Grab the Sun and have some "FUN"

    POSTED May 05, 2008

    Thought for the day!

    " " Life experiences are like quarters. You lose both when you sit on the couch."
    - Author Unknown -


    Have you ever been to the ocean?
    If so, have you ever gotten some water in your mouth?
    Do you ever wonder why the water in the ocean taste so salty?
    Well, I have the answer...

    YELLING 13...13...13...

    I was walking past the mental hospital the other day,and all the patients were shouting,
    The fence was too high to see over,but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.
    Some poked me in the eye with a stick. Then they all started shouting

    3 Hillbillies

    Three TN Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.
    1st Hillbilly says: 'My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner. '
    2nd Hillbilly says: 'Why is that stupid?'
    1st Hillbilly says: 'We ain't got no 'lectricity!'
    2nd Hillbilly says: 'That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warshin' machines!'
    1st Hillbilly says: 'Why is that so stupid?'
    2nd Hillbilly says: ''Cause we ain't got no plummin'!'
    3rd Hillbilly says: 'That ain't nuthin'! My ol' lady is dumber than both yer wifes put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar.'
    1st and 2nd Hillbillies say: 'Well, what's so dumb about that?'
    3rd Hillbilly says: 'She ain't got no pecker.'

    POSTED May 03, 2008

    Thought for the day!

    " Other people can stop you temporarily. You're the only one who can do it permanently."
    Zig Ziglar


    A man suffered a serious heart attack and had open heart bypass surgery.
    He woke from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at a Catholic Hospital.
    As he was recovering, a nun asked him questions regarding how he was going to pay for his treatment. She asked if he had health insurance. He replied, in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
    The nun asked if he had money in the bank. He replied, "No money in the bank."
    The nun asked, "Do you have a relative who could help you?" He said, "I only have a spinster sister, who is a nun." "The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God."
    The patient replied, "Send the bill to my brother-in-law".


    I complained about my recent electric bill and here's the response !!

    Dear Electric Customer,
    Just a little note to let you know we understand your anger in the recent price hike. But it should be noted that you have no choice.
    We are a big company and you will pay what we tell you. We have the power, you need the power. So sad, too bad. Sucks to be you. We have enclosed a little picture to help outline our response. Have a nice day and keep those checks coming,
    Local Power Co .


    Chicken dance


    An absolutely amazing story...
    Sometimes these 'heartwarming' stories are a bit too sappy for me but this one is truly interesting... In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

    He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

    Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

    Reme mbering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed his stupid head against the railing, killing him instantly.

    Probably wasn't the same elephant.

    POSTED May 02, 2008

    Thought for the day!

    Albert Einstein once stated,
    'Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.'


    Belly Button Jewelry: "WOW"


    Just a friendly reminder for you to be sure you know where you are when you close your "EYES"


    Power Point Presentation on Some "World Class" photos....


    POSTED May 01, 2008

    Thought for the day!

    Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.' --Will Rogers


    it is knowing the right thing to say.
    WIFE: 'What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
    HUSBAND: 'Definitely not!'
    WIFE: 'Why not? Don't you like being married?'
    HUSBAND: 'Of course I do.'
    WIFE: 'Then why wouldn't you remarry?'
    HUSBAND: 'Okay, okay, I'd get married again.'
    WIFE: 'You would?' (With a hurt look)
    HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
    WIFE: 'Would you live in our house?'
    HUSBAND: 'Sure, it's a great house.'
    WIFE: 'Would you sleep with her in our bed?'
    HUSBAND: 'Where else would we sleep?'
    WIFE: 'Would you let her drive my car?'
    HUSBAND: 'Probably, it is almost new.'
    WIFE: 'Would you replace my pictures with hers?'
    HUSBAND: 'That would seem like the proper thing to do'
    WIFE: 'Would you give her my jewelry?'
    HUSBAND: 'No, I'm sure she'd want her own.'
    WIFE: 'Would you take her golfing with you?
    HUSBAND: 'Yes, those are always good times.'
    WIFE: 'Would she use my clubs?
    HUSBAND: 'No, she's left-handed.'
    WIFE: -- silence ------
    HUSBAND: 'Shit.'


    This is the NEW International Symbol for Gasoline...


    Just like a woman!! Female Compassion . . . There's Nothing Like It!
    A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.
    Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.
    The first woman said, "Have you ever had a hug?"
    The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.
    The second woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?"
    The man said "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
    The third woman walked over to him and whispered in his ear,
    "Have you ever been ------?"
    The fellow looked up in amazement and a smile on his face and said, 'No.'
    She said, "You will be when the tide comes in."


    Letter from one "Angry Woman"


    There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:
    GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
    BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next, fatty.'
    I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death


    How smart are you?

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